


a bit of magic is key

by hajiiwa



Series: my dear, there is magic in everything [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Cat/Human Hybrids, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, the blobby little kitten things i don't know the correct terminology for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 09:36:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajiiwa/pseuds/hajiiwa
Summary: He can feel the weight pressing down on the edge of their bed and, assuming that it’s just Oikawa, Iwaizumi tries not to move around a whole lot.That is until he feels a tiny hand press to his calf.Immediately, Iwaizumi’s eyes snap open. He tries to reason out what the hell just touched him, and why it was there, when it began to crawl up his leg.Oh, fuck.





	a bit of magic is key

**Author's Note:**

> this is pure silliness!!! i love it

 In the mornings, Iwaizumi stops to think.

Often, this just happens in bed. He wakes up before his alarm and stares up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the confused shouting from the alchemists above them or the snoring of his partner. This is one of those mornings-- Iwaizumi has yet to open his eyes, but he does turn onto his stomach, shifting closer to the other body on the bed, pulling him close and letting his mind wander off in any direction it pleases. His job as a trainer is exhausting-- fencing, martial arts, a couple of magic-infused moves-- meaning that any time he gets in bed is a blessing. He can feel the weight pressing down on the edge of their bed and, assuming that it’s just Oikawa, Iwaizumi tries not to move around a whole lot.

That is until he feels a tiny hand press to his calf.

Immediately, Iwaizumi’s eyes snap open. He tries to reason out what the hell just touched him, and why it was there, when it began to crawl up his leg.

Iwaizumi twitches and cranes his neck over his shoulder, somewhat horrified. He had heard of curses put on people where tiny demons would feed off of their energy, or experiments gone terribly wrong, or--

Or, just a cutesy face that looks a little like his blinking up at him. Iwaizumi freezes.

It  _ is _ himself, or so Iwaizumi thinks. A tiny version of himself that was scarcely bigger than his palm, with a thin black tail and a minuscule pair of ears nestled into thick hair. Said ears twitch in recognition and Iwaizumi gawks, watching the tiny cat-human dive back under the blankets and bury itself in his sock.

A minute goes by, then two. “I’m dreaming,” says Iwaizumi, voice hoarse with disbelief and husky with sleep. “I-- oh my god. This can’t be real.”

Oikawa Tooru, who was almost entirely swathed by blankets, lifts his head a little. “Haj’?”

“Tooru, perfect. Get up, get up,” Iwaizumi insists, shaking him none too gently. Oikawa whines and tries to bury himself again, but Iwaizumi hauls him up.

“I think…” Iwaizumi swallows, mouth dry. “I think I’m going crazy.”

Oikawa yawns. “I think so too…”

“No, no, this is serious. Look,” Iwaizumi says, reaching down into his sock and pulling out the… creature. It sits in his palm, legs tucked up, tail wrapping around one of Iwaizumi’s fingers. Oikawa gasps.

“It’s so cute, Hajime, it’s just like you,” he coos, batting his eyelashes. “Is it naked?”

_ Iwaizumi can’t believe what he’s hearing _ ; “I can’t believe what I’m hearing. There’s a tiny cat-- cat  _ thing  _ sitting in my palm and you’re not the least bit curious as to how the hell it got here?!”

Oikawa holds up his hands. “Yes, yes, I am! But it is cute, babe, just look. Its little ears, aww…”

Sighing, Iwaizumi tugs on the ends of his hair. He goes to say something, but there’s a tiny, weak yowl from the kitchen that cuts him off. Oikawa stiffens. “That’s me!” he cries and is out of bed in a heartbeat. Iwaizumi, and cat-Iwaizumi, both stare after him wearing identical expressions.

When they emerge, Oikawa is cradling a tiny body in his hands and standing in front of the fridge. “He tried to open it and got stuck,” he sniffles.

“Why’s mine an ‘it’ and yours a ‘he’?” asks Iwaizumi, slightly disgruntled. Oikawa ignores him and begins to pet the creature’s hair, still murmuring to it under his breath.

“Well, while you coddle him, I’m going to yell at the alchemists upstairs,” Iwaizumi growls. “I have a feeling that this is their doing.”

Oikawa looks up. “You want to get rid of them?”

Iwaizumi’s mouth opens and closes wordlessly for a moment. “Of course I do, idiot! We don’t know where they came from, if they have malicious intent…”

Right on cue, cat-Iwaizumi sneezes and cat-Oikawa looks over, giving a series of noises that sound an awful lot like cackles. Cat-Iwaizumi stands up on wobbly legs and raises his tiny, chubby fists, giving a menacing growl that still manages to come off as a squeak. Iwaizumi sighs again.

“... alright, so maybe ‘malicious intent’ isn’t the right way to put it,” he says reluctantly. “But I still want to see if they know what to do about them.”

“I’ll come with,” says Oikawa chirps, letting cat-Oikawa rest in his palm. The tiny creature nibbles on his finger. “Plus, it’s been awhile since we’ve visited Kou-chan and Tetsu-chan.”

The alchemists that lived upstairs were a pain. Experimental, overly-friendly, and  _ extremely  _ amorous, Bokuto and Kuroo made for terrible neighbors but decent friends. “Fine,” Iwaizumi mutters. “But if you start comparing the ‘width of my triceps’ to Bokuto’s I’m calling quits.”

Oikawa shrugs. “You’re the one that wanted to go, Iwa-chan,” he reminds in a sing-song voice, setting cat-Oikawa on his shoulder and beaming. “Then let’s go.”

***

Eight in the morning was probably considered a bit early to be visiting your neighbors, but Iwaizumi knew that Bokuto didn’t sleep much anyway. Oikawa knocks on the door, and sure enough, Bokuto opens it, hair already done up and robe swirling around himself. “Oikawa! Iwaizumi!” he greets amiably, squeezing the former into a tight hug and doing the same to the latter. “What brings you here?”

Evidently, he hadn’t seen the tiny creatures. Iwaizumi just lifts up his miniaturized cat-human self, the two scrutinizing Bokuto with four narrowed, slate eyes. “Is this your doing?” he asks flatly. Bokuto hesitates.

“Could be,” he admits slowly, scratching the back of his neck. “Tetsu ‘n’ I were, er…” He reddens. “Experimenting a little.”

“When are you not?” says Oikawa with a laugh. “So what caused this?”

Like clockwork, Kuroo appears behind Bokuto, arms slithering around his waist as his nose buries in the shorter man’s neck. It takes Iwaizumi a moment to realize what’s wrong. “Why… why is he wearing cat ears?”

Bokuto’s face continues to darken. “He’s not wearing them,” he says, leaning back slightly. A long black tail flicks out and wraps around his thigh. “They’re a part o’ him.”

Oikawa blinks quickly. “So that-- that humming noise just now? That’s him?”

Kuroo’s eyelids drag upward, and his eyes appear even more cat-like, pupils narrowed and irises strikingly gold. “Come back to bed,” he murmurs to Bokuto, voice his usual lazy drawl as his fingers slide along the belt on Bokuto’s cloak. Iwaizumi pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Is this a sex thing?”

“Of course it’s a sex thing,” Oikawa and Bokuto answer in unison. Kuroo’s purring just gets louder.

Iwaizumi takes a deep breath, trying to stop himself from tearing his hair out. Cat-Iwaizumi begins to gnaw on his sleeve. “So how can we fix this?” he asks haltingly. Bokuto gives a small shrug.

“I have no idea,” he says. “But you guys could come in ‘n’ we could figure it out?”

“Sounds good to me,” Oikawa answers, his mouth widening into a (fitting) Cheshire grin. Iwaizumi mutters something unsavory under his breath, and cat-Iwaizumi nips the heel of his palm, as if in punishment. Cat-Oikawa just yowls.

Kuroo’s tail relaxes and then lashes out. “It might have been too powerful an alteration from Bo that caused them,” he says as the other three make their way inside after him. The tall ravenet is in only a loose nightgown, and now that he’s out from behind Bokuto, everyone could see the red splotches all over his neck and throat. “A leakage, maybe.”

Oikawa’s head tilts and he flops down onto the couch, cat-Oikawa crawling into the pocket of his jacket. “What do you mean?”

The man yawns-- Iwaizumi can see his lengthened canines. “So Bo’s pretty badass when he wants to be, right?” he says, draping himself over an armchair as Bokuto wanders into the kitchen to find drinks. “It could be that the spell he put on me to make me a hybrid sort of… Seeped into your apartment. Maybe it was just powerful enough to make an impact, but not quite so much that it turned you guys into something like me. It just created mini versions of yourselves instead.”

His eyes flicker away disinterestedly. “Or something.”

Oikawa nods slowly, acting as if he had any idea of what all of this meant. “Yeah, okay! That makes sense.”

“So how do we fix it?” Iwaizumi prompts. Kuroo shrugs.

“It would probably mean reversing what Bo did to me,” he says--

“And that won’t be happening anytime soon!” fills in Bokuto from the kitchen. Kuroo snorts.

“I can’t believe this,” Iwaizumi mutters quietly. “You underwent physical alterations-- serious ones-- just to fulfill some kink?”

Kuroo’s eyes bore into him. “Wouldn’t you?”

When Iwaizumi takes a moment to respond, Kuroo keeps talking. “Plus, it wasn’t all about the sex. There was genuine curiosity involved. My hearing is better, I feel more nimble-- admittedly, that’s been used for sex-- and I feel even more superior over the general public now.”

Iwaizumi sighs tiredly. “This is more sex talk than I need right now. Or ever, for that matter.”

Bokuto gives a warm laugh as he walks back over, four drinks levitating on either side of his body. They float to their respective people. “I don’t think so, Iwaizumi! You’re Oikawa Tooru’s boyfriend.”

Iwaizumi pauses. “Fair,” he relents, taking a sip of his drink. “Hey-- green tea. How did you know?”

Bokuto raps at his temple. “Intuition,” he grins. Oikawa just chuckles.

“So you really want to get rid of them?” Kuroo cuts in, leaning his head on Bokuto’s lap as he sits back down. Cat-Iwaizumi turns and looks up at him from where he still sat in Iwaizumi’s palm, eyes growing wide.

“ _ I _ don’t want to,” says Oikawa, straining the first word to emphasize the difference between himself and Iwaizumi. “I say the more Oikawa Tooru around, the better.”

Bokuto tilts his head. “So they can stay?” he asks hopefully. “I don’t have to reverse the spell?”

All five pairs of eyes swivel to Iwaizumi and he sighs. “Fine,” he relents, waving his free hand. “They can stay.”

***

This ruling, however, causes issues neither Iwaizumi nor Oikawa were prepared to deal with. Their tiny cat-like selves apparently found clothing to be unnecessary, and thus rarely wore it, even after Oikawa made them little outfits. They acted like babies, really-- they spoke in a language unintelligible to Oikawa and Iwaizumi, they constantly needed supervision, and they always interrupted their parents’ down time. Trying to have sex in the same room they were in felt wrong on so many levels.

Two weeks crawl by, then three. Iwaizumi seems to be adjusting better than Oikawa, who is currently draped over the couch, muttering under his breath. “Honestly, who does Kou-chan think he is? Saddling us with these maniacal burdens just to spice up his sex life, I mean come on! He’s not the one who basically just adopted two children!”

“Oikawa,” drawls Iwaizumi from the armchair, “keep it down. Hajime and Tooru are trying to sleep.”

Oikawa sits up and glares. Evidently, he’s not fond of the decision to call cat-Iwaizumi and cat-Oikawa Hajime and Tooru, respectively. “So? They didn’t care when we were trying to sleep last night. Hajime crawled onto my face, Ha-- Iwa-chan!!”

Heaving a martyred sigh, Iwaizumi stands. “Come on,” he says, taking Oikawa’s hand, “let me show you something.”

Oikawa flops back against the couch. “No. Don’t wanna see.”

Iwaizumi narrows his eyes. “Get up.”

“No.”

He sighs. “Tooru--”

“See?!” shrieks Oikawa. “Doesn’t it sound weird now? Just wait for that little kiss-ass to show up, I swear to god--”

“Oikawa Tooru,” Iwaizumi interrupts, voice icy, “tactical analyzer extraordinaire, my lovely boyfriend, get your ass up.”

With reluctance, Oikawa straightens, pretending to fix his tunic. Iwaizumi just grabs his arm and drags him toward the bedroom, silently opening the door.

Tooru and Hajime were curled up together on a small bed that Oikawa had made. The small structure made of twisted and bound branches sat on their dresser, the minuscule blanket draping over the sides. Though small and pudgy, the two figures were perfectly nestled together, tails twined happily and the faintest of purrs emanating from the bed. Iwaizumi glances over in time to watch Oikawa’s eyes soften. He turns to leave but Oikawa snags his hand, pulling him back in and swallowing.

“Sorry,” he says, voice hushed. “I just… I haven’t had much time alone with you lately, and once the boss gets back, my work hours will rise…” 

Iwaizumi puts a finger to his lips. “Guest room,” he answers simply, stepping back and giving a sly smile. Oikawa gives a small, childish gasp, grinning widely before closing the door and skittering after him.

***

From then on, the tiny creatures became very natural to have around. Bokuto and Kuroo dropped in consistently to see how they were doing, the hybrid seemingly becoming more and more catlike with each passing day. Hajime and Tooru had gotten no bigger and no more coherent, but no one minded much, since watching them tumble around the house wearing tiny belled collars was enough to lighten almost any tense moment. The cold months were just beginning when Oikawa and Iwaizumi woke up to them gone.

“‘Kawa,” slurs a tired Iwaizumi as he reaches out for Oikawa, “where--”

He sits up and blinks slowly; Oikawa wasn’t in bed. “Oikawa?” he calls louder, watching as his boyfriend comes running into the room wearing a horrified expression and carrying a small bag of treats Hajime and Tooru were known to like.

“They’re gone,” he blurts, voice tinged with worry. Surprised, Iwaizumi rubs at his eyes, glancing at the bed to the left of their own-- sure enough, neither Hajime nor Tooru were there. 

“I’m sure they’re just…” Iwaizumi gives a small shrug. “Stuck in the dryer again.”

Oikawa shakes his head, frantic and distracted. “No, no, no, I checked all the usual places; the washer-dryer, the kitchen, under the rugs and in the drapes…”

Iwaizumi reaches out and takes his hand with a frown, planning to reassure him when Oikawa bulldozes his voice. “I found an open window,” he says quietly. Iwaizumi hesitates.

“It’s-- it’s cold as balls outside, why would we leave a window open?” he asks, not entirely awake enough to be facing a problem such as this one. 

“I don’t think it was us,” Oikawa says hoarsely. “I believe they wanted out.”

Iwaizumi snorts, though not unkindly. “I don’t think that’s likely. They hate the cold and the outdoors. We know that.” He stands unsteadily and kisses Oikawa’s temple. “Soon we can head upstairs and see if Bokuto knows anything. Okay?”

Oikawa chews on his bottom lip before nodding a little. “Okay. Yeah.”

***

In Iwaizumi’s mind, they had been a lot cooler-- two professional caretakers coming to inquire about their missing charges, not Oikawa seizing a pale-faced Bokuto by his collar and shaking him violently.

“Listen, man, you’re not the only one with problems,” Bokuto says, voice uncharacteristically weak.

Iwaizumi notices that the door is still mostly shut. He folds his arms. “What happened?”

Slowly, hesitantly, Bokuto opens the door the rest of the way. They’re immediately greeted with dozens of tiny figures, if not more, of cat-like Tetsurous barely taller than Hajime and Tooru had been. Iwaizumi gives a surprised yell as one of them immediately attaches to his leg. “What the hell?!”

“I woke up to this!” Bokuto whines. “Tetsu is gone and he’s been replaced with-- with these!”

Oikawa steps inside and swears quietly, making sure each of the pint-sized Tetsurous were accounted for. “So-- so Tetsu-chan is gone?” he asks doubtfully. “He’s been replaced with these?”

Bokuto nods and bites his fingernails-- already, Iwaizumi can see that they’ve been bitten down to short stumps. “Yeah. I don’t-- I don’t know what to do.”

“Well… calm down,” Iwaizumi instructs, carefully lowering Bokuto’s hands. “We’ll get him-- actual him-- back. Why do you think this could have happened?”

It takes him a moment, but Bokuto eventually speaks. “I think I left the spell going for too long,” he admits quietly. “Body mutation spells… they can sometimes cause bizarre effects if left going for too long.”

A Tetsurou at his feet yowls. Bokuto reaches down and picks him up, giving a crooked smile as the creature nuzzles his palm and purrs. “These are adorable…”

Oikawa, impatient, flaps a hand. “So what’s the reversal?” he prompts. “I mean, yeah, they’re cute, but you probably want your boyfriend back.”

Bokuto turns scarlet. “Fiance,” he corrects. Iwaizumi smiles slightly.

“Congrats,” he says with a nod. Bokuto brightens.

“Thanks! I was so nervous, but you should have seen him-- his face got all pink and he kept stammering--”

Oikawa coughs and Bokuto snaps out of his daze. “Right, right. Getting him back. Well…”

He scampers off and returns with a thick, worn book, flipping through the bedazzled pages until he finds the one he evidently needs. “This one says ‘ _ in order to reverse a bodily modification, contain all persons affected in a bound area and perform the following ritual _ ’... yadda yadda yadda… so wait.” He blinks. “Does that mean…?”

Iwaizumi pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yeah. We have to round all these fuckers up.”

***

That was a task easier said than done. Bokuto estimated there to be roughly fifty of the creatures wandering around, and when nearly an hour crawled by, only thirty had been captured. After a while, they had caught on, and having seen the small unit they were being kept in, had zero interest in it. Iwaizumi leans back against the wall and sighs, closing his eyes for a second. “What else can we try?” he asks tiredly, wiping at his brow. “For tiny little balls of fat, they sure move fast.”

Nervously, Bokuto shrugs. “I can’t make the binding area any bigger, and for some reason, they’re immune to my summoning spells. We have to round these cuties up by hand.”

Oikawa nods in a resigned sort of way, then hesitates. “So once the reversal is in place…”

“They will be gone,” Bokuto fills in, “and my Tetsu will be back. Sans-cat ears. Your little blobs will be gone too-- or, y’know, still.”

Iwaizumi watches Oikawa’s shoulders sag just slightly. “Ah, man,” he mutters, “I was getting used to having them around.”

“You’ll still have Iwaizumi,” Bokuto points out cheerfully. Oikawa looks Iwaizumi over with disinterest.

“Yeah,” he hums, retaining his disappointed air. Iwaizumi throws a pillow at him.

***

Lunch has rolled around by the time they finally round up all of the tiny Tetsurous. The binding area wasn’t soundproof, so all they heard was their former friend’s distressed squeaking as Bokuto stands before it.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he coos, opening his spellbook and swallowing anxiously. “I’ll get everything back to normal soon.”

Oikawa stands against the wall next to Iwaizumi as they observe the mage at work, both of them somewhat more somber now that they weren’t chasing around tiny hybrid Tetsurous. The shorter man glances over as Oikawa does and their eyes lock, Iwaizumi being the first one to look away. He knew what was on his lover’s mind.

“Okay, and now…” Bokuto, apparently worried that he was going to mess something up, arduously went over every detail of the spell. He murmurs something in a language neither of the others can understand and there’s a sudden puff of smoke-- the lights dim as the bound area begins to grow, Tetsurous’ pleading squawks suddenly growing quiet.

The next bit is a little hazy for Iwaizumi. He could vaguely recall Bokuto with his arms held out, voice strong and unwavering, and the next thing they saw was a very naked Kuroo sitting on the floor. He blinks up at them and slowly draws his knees to his chest. “Give a man some privacy, won’t you?”

Obligingly, Oikawa and Iwaizumi turn to face the wall as Bokuto fawns over his newly-recovered fiance. Iwaizumi reaches out and tangles his fingers with Oikawa’s. “You can’t ask him to do it again,” he says, voice quiet but not unsympathetic. The other sighs.

“I know,” answers Oikawa, tone bitter. “I’m just-- I’m gonna miss those little devils.” Iwaizumi merely leans over and kisses his cheek.

When the mages return, Iwaizumi and Oikawa shift to face them. Kuroo’s swathed in a robe, looking a little shaken up but mostly unharmed. “Was it worth it?” Iwaizumi asks critically. Kuroo pauses, shrugs, then nods. 

“Yup.”

“Would you do it again?” goads Oikawa, earning a slight glare from Iwaizumi.

“Not for a while,” Kuroo yawns, leaning into Bokuto’s side and giving a tired smile. “I know it kind of freaked Koutarou out.”

Bokuto blinks. “You-- how was that, anyway? How could you tell?”

“Well, it was…” Kuroo trails off. “Honestly, I don’t really know. It just was. I was operating them, but in a weird kind of backseat way-- like how you don’t need to think about how to walk or write or something consciously. It was…” He shivers. “Undesirable. I could see through the eyes of the one that hid in the back pantry. Do you know we have roaches?”

As Bokuto gawks, Iwaizumi puts a hand to Oikawa’s arm. “Now we know what happened to Hajime and Tooru,” he says softly. “Let’s go home.”

As Oikawa turns to leave, Bokuto snags his arm. “Hey, ah--” He grins. “Thanks for helping. I’m sure I could bring those little guys back whenever you want, if you’re inter--”

“Yes,” Iwaizumi and Oikawa both interrupt. 

When they meander back downstairs ten minutes later, Hajime and Tooru are squaring off on the shoulders of their parents, right as rain.

**Author's Note:**

> i feel?? iffy about that ending. but. i suppose it will do
> 
> comments + kudos are very appreciated!! talk to me here or at **chxngsey** , my tumblr~


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